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The danger of dysteachia
Published in: Jornal do Professor ● Year 10 nº 0 ● February 2006 ● pg. 9
Educators be careful! There seems to be a worldwide outbreak of dysteachia in schools everywhere. Dystechia is a teaching disability deomonstrated by an educator’s cynical view on education and conformity to an inadaquete system. The word dsysteachia is derived from the greek words “Dys” and “Teachia” Dys means poor or inadequate and Teachia means teaching, together dystechia means poor or inadequate teaching. The results of dysteachia are de-motivated students and high drop out rates. In order to diagnose dysteachia, look for the following conditions: Incessant complaining, Engagement in constant student labeling, Glorifying quiet and lethargic students. The teacher also presents a serious and voluntary hearing impairment, which results in an inability to listen to what students have to say. The voluntary hearing impairment can lead to recurrent acts of shouting at students in order to silence them. Teachers diagnosed with Dysteachia also have symtpoms of A.T.S and C.T.D. A.T.S. stands for Apathic Teaching Syndrome. The symptomatic effects are an unwillingness to teach effectively and extreme indolence. Whenever questioned or called upon to help, the teacher infected by A.T.S. will tell his students they are on their own. The educator is incapabile of catering to individual needs and creating meaningful learning experiences. Students dealing with teachers infected with A.T.S. need to be extremely bright since they will have to self teach most of the time. All other students will need to look for alternative programs, including Apprentice of Apathic Teachers Anonymous (AAA) or private tutoring. The other teaching abnormality perplexing teachers everywhere, C.T.D., is just as worrisome as Dysteachia and A.T.S. C.T.D. stands for Creative Teaching Deficit. The teacher who carries C.T.D. teaches the same lesson every year, which they wrote down in their yellowish notebook the year they graduated from University. Teachers with C.T.D. may also suffer from ancient teaching methodologies addiction, which results on a very high t.t.t. (teacher talking time). Students dealing with teachers contaminated with C.T.D. suffer from extreme sleepiness and boredom. These students are also prone to caffeine addiction. Teachers with Dysteachia, A.T.S. or C.T.D. are susceptible to the overuse of summative assessment as their lassitude deprives them from diagnosing and catering to students needs. They also do not tolerate colleagues who enjoy teaching and often engage in back fence talking and back-stabbing. Teachers with such conditions also present a cyclical hoarseness, which may lead to a vocal cord dysfunction. Fellow teachers beware! The teaching disabilites described above are lurking around schools everywhere. If you present any of the symptoms described above seek immediate help. You may also take a test to find out if you are dysteachia, A.T.S., C.T.D positive. If your test turns out positive, there are some remedies available that will cure you. Take high doses of quality teaching training or graduate courses, an injection of sensitiviness and some awareness pills. Awareness pills are currently being manufactured in Brazil by Paulo Freire Labs. There’s a wide variety of them, but their best seller is “Pedagogia of Freedom”, which gives you a quick and effective relief. Reading poetry, laughing and dreaming are also higly recommended treatments. The best results will be yielded with a combined therapy of the above. Are you suffering from dysteachia?
1) Do you have a dialogical relationship with your students? 2) Do you motivate your students to think outside the box? 3) Do you use other resources beside the board and the book? 4) Do you ever get out of the classroom with your students? 5) Do you ask your students their opinion on how you teach? 6) Do you read books related to teaching at least once a year? 7) Do you take at least one graduate course every five years in 8) Do you lose your voice more than twice a year? 9) Do you give yourself time to rest, read poetry, paint, read 10) Do your students hug you and smile when they see you outside Y N
11) Do you raise your students awareness on their power of If you answered NO to four or more of the questions above seek help as you may be suffering from dysteachia or one of its related disorders.



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